As a common but complex linguistic phenomenon, conflict talks (CTs) frequently occur in daily communications. This study aims to carry out analyses of parent-teenager CTs in two Chinese TV series A Love for Separation and Home with Kids to reveal the three steps of CTs. From the perspective of the rapport management theory, this study mainly centers on probing into the causes as well as the influence on harmonious interpersonal relations, and then tries to provide some measures to reduce parent-child CTs, to improve the ability of using language to build a harmonious family interrelationship. The major finding of the study lies in that when Chinese parents threaten their children’s face or limit their sociality rights, CTs would probably occur, and when they oversight or even attempt to challenge the rapport, CTs would be even escalated.
In ancient China, people attached great importance to their families and to filial piety. Thus, parents had absolute power in traditional families. Gradually, however, with the development of this society, the emergence of nuclear family has changed the original family patterns. With the 30-year implementation of China’s family control policy, its population structure has become an upside-down triangle, with the aged on the top. The two generations cherish their children with whole-hearted "love", which has a taste of overreaching with the arbitrary imposition. The over-nurtured love from their grandparents as well as parents surrounds the children every minute every hour every day. As a result, parents and teenagers are in a state of lord-servant relationship. The powerrelationship shifts from the grandparents or parents-centered tradition to the children-centered trend, which has become a striking contrast in the society and has resulted in a number of inevitable conflict talks (hereafter CTs), constant disputes, broken affections, children’s psychological problems as well as unusual behaviors.
The present study is based on some episodes of CTs collected from two Chinese TVseries:A Love for Separation, and Home with Kids. And the data is initially analyzed from the linguistic patterns and characteristics of CTs. Then from the perspective of the rapport management theory, the causes and the influence on harmonious interpersonal relations are focused upon. Eventually some measures to reduce parent-teenager CTs are suggested to release the tension between them. It is hoped that this research would be a starting point that leads to building a harmonious parent-teenager relationship.
Earlier studies of CTs
CTs are a very common social behavior. There are a lot of different terms to delineate CTs, such as adversative episode (Eisenberg and Garvey, 1981), oppositional argument (Schiffrin, 1985), disputes and disputing (Brenneis, 1988), dialogical asymmetry (Knoblauch, 1991), quarrel (Antaki, 1994) and so on.
Taking foreign researches since the end of 1970s as an example, this paper finds that Brenneis and Lein (1977) and Boggs (1978) started to pay attention to the structure of children’s debate or dispute. Subsequently, more and more scholars expanded and deepened the research of CTs, forming various studies based on different disciplines such as conversation analysis, ethnography of communication, cross-cultural communication and interactional sociolinguistics (Liu, 2012). Conversation analysis studies the stylistic features of CTs (Tannen, 1990), the structural features of CTs (Atkinson and Drew, 1979), such as preference organization and adjacency pair, and strategic features of CTs (Brenneis and Lein, 1977; Boggs, 1978), such as tone, gestures, facial expressions, etc. Ethnographic research refers to that scholars obtain first-hand information about CTs through long-term field investigation and analyse CTs according to contextual variables, which reveals context factors. Since the 1980s, Goodwin and Goodwin (1987) have conducted a series of detailed studies on CTs of American (black) children and adolescents aged between 4 and 14, which makes a unique contribution to the development of CTs analysis. Among the researches on cross-cultural communication, Corsaro and Rizzo (1990) were relatively famous. They studied the disputes in the peer culture of American and Italian nursery-school children, finding that Italian children are easier to get into conflict talks because of dissatisfied requirement. Interactional sociolinguistics has made outstanding contributions to the study of CTs from the perspectives of rhetoric, different contextual variables and transgender. Recently, some scholars studied doctor-patient CTs (Liu, 2016; Hu and Song, 2020). Liu pointed out that CTs have both positive and negative effects on interpersonal relationship.Hu and Song studied CTs from the perspective of ecolinguistics and found that patients and doctors both will respond to non-aggressive conflict to express their dissatisfaction.Besides, CTs are more closely related to identity construction (Blitvich, 2018), which reflects the functionality of CTs. Since super diversity and globalization have become more visible (Blommaert, 2013), identity may be destroyed (Naz et al., 2011: 2), or proliferated (Tomlinson, 2003: 271). De Fina (2013) studied transnational identity of Latinos in the context of the US, finding that Latino identity is a transnational, top-down, imposed identity.
In China, researches on CTs can be classified into the following five aspects (Ruan, 2018): 1. Domestic scholars use the relevance theory, the adaptation theory, the face threatening theory, the conversation analysis and the rapport management theory to study CTs. Ran (2012), discussed rapport management from the aspects of face management and sociality rights management based on Spencer-Oatey’s rapport management theory. Zhou (2014) took the CTs in the TV series as the corpus and adaptation theory as the research perspective, believing that gender factors, life experience, values and family relations are the main reasons for the occurrence of family CTs. 2. Researches on CT structure are represented by Zhao (2004), who divided CT into three steps, the initiation step, the escalation step and the termination step with structural analysis method. 3. Researches on communicative strategies of CTs. Zou (2018) discussed the communicative strategies of family conflict discourse in the TV series The First Half of My Life. This study revealed the characteristics of the characters in the drama and divided the responses into conflict responses, false responses and silent responses. 4. Pragmatic effects of CTs; The pragmatic effects refer to the harmonies and challenges of personal relationship. However, Ran (2010) and Zhang (2016) believed that CTs plays a positive role in interpersonal harmony. 5. The researches on the generation mechanism of CTs mainly involve the causes of CTs. Zhou (2009) selected three episodes of intense CTs in the drama Thunderstorm as corpus and pointed out that the cause of CTs is the contradiction of speech space, and its terminative way reflects the control of having a voice.
CTs have made corresponding progress in China. On the one hand, studies have unified the concept of CT, which can be summarized as one party’s disapproval of the other party in communication. CTs can be expressed in language or non-language and have features of divergence, negativity and interference. On the other hand, the research perspective is diversified. However, there still exists some insufficiency on its development in China. Firstly, researches on CTs are mainly based on conversation analysis. Secondly, numerous researchers have introduced or studied CTs from various approaches as aforementioned, but studies concerning CTs in Chinese TV series are few. Besides, previous studies mainly focus on the linguistic patterns of CTs, and characteristics of parent-teenager CTs are rarely mentioned. Lastly, the feasibility and practicality of the rapport management theory in CTs in Chinese TV series need to be testified. Therefore, application of this theory in CTs between parents and children in Chinese TV series is worth carrying out.
Rapport management theory
The rapport management theory raised by Spencer-Oatey (2000) is made up of two components: face and sociality rights (2000:540). Face consists of quality face and identity face. Quality face means that we have a fundamental desire for people to evaluate us positively in terms of our personal qualities. Identity face refers to that we have a fundamental desire for people to acknowledge and uphold our social identities and roles. Sociality rights consist of equity right and association right. Equity right refers to that people have the equal right to be treated no matter where they are and no matter what they are involved. And they should not be forced, ordered, or exploited by others without any reason. Association right refers to that where the communicator can associate with others that are keeping the type of relationship that we have with them.
Spencer-Oatey (2000: 29-30) came up with four types of rapport orientations: Rapport-enhancement orientation (a desire to enhance the harmony of relationship), rapport-maintenance orientation (a desire to maintain the current quality of relationship and level of rapport), rapport-neglect orientation (having no concern for the quality of the relationship) and rapport-challenge orientation (a desire to challenge or impair harmonious relations).
Considering the research gap discussed above, the aim of the current study was to carry out analyses of parent-teenager CTs in two Chinese TV series A Love for Separation and Home with Kids to reveal the three steps of CTs. From the perspective of the rapport management theory, this study mainly centered on probing into the causes as well as the influence on harmonious interpersonal relations, and then tried toprovide some measures to reduce parent-child CTs, to improve the ability of using language to build a harmonious family interrelationship.
The initiation stage
Eisenberg and Garvey (1981:150) suggested in their influential study, "an adversative episode is a sequence which begins with an opposition". That means a CT may be initiated by an oppositional reply to an action, a request or an assertion in different ways. Detailed numbers and percentage of the initiation stage are represented in Table 1.
It clearly shows that among the 34 CTs, claim-counterclaim (41%) and provoking question-opposing answer (47%) constitute a large proportion, that is to say, parents and kids may mostly use these two ways to start or initiate a CT, order-refusal is also employed in the fictional CTs among parents and their children.
As for the reason, the teenagers are undergoing a tremendous change both physically and mentally. Their opinions will be completely different from their parents. Thus, when their parents claim what they thought, teenagers will immediately counterclaim it to express themselves. And in this period, they are more sensitive to and much easier to be irrigated by their parents’ opposing intonation. So if their parents raise a provoking question, they will give an opposing answer.
The escalation or maintenance stage
Once a CT has been initiated, both opponents have to express their own different opinions to reject their opponent’s view during the next phase (Gruber, 2001). That is the escalation or maintenance stage which can be achieved by various ways. Detailed numbers and percentage of the maintenance and escalation stage are represented in Table 2.
Here, we can see that there will be more than one way to maintenance and escalation in a CT. In these 34 CTs, 13 of them is negation (31.71%), 11 are posing questions (26.83%), 8 of defense (19.51%), 5 of repetition (12.20%) and 4 are interruption (9.76%). That is to say, negation is the most frequently used formats of the stage of maintenance and escalation but repetition is of the least.
Smetana and Villalobos (2009) claims the cognitive development of an individual in a particular area. Cognitive maturity means that what teenagers used to think of as something within parental authority is now something that they think should be left to their own discretion, and if parents are still trying to maintain their power, the conflict will be intensified. So, when parents use power to negate their children’s thoughts, requests or rights, CTs will be escalated.
The termination stage
Not all CTs will be terminated by agreement of both sides. Instead, the participants would try to end it neither with submitting nor with concessions (Leung, 2002). To achieve this goal, participants’ linguistic choices are very important, which can initiate or terminate the CT. Detailed numbers and percentages of the termination stage are represented in Table 3.
Here, submission is 41.67%, withdrawal for 33.33%, compromise and concession for 13.89%, third party interruption for 8.33%, humor for 2.78%. To sum up, submission might be the most frequently employed format in the CTs between parents and their kids.
To mitigate and terminate a conflict, the key factor in choices of strategies involves face issue. Thus strategy choices of speakers should diminish the degree of opponent’s face threatening act and adapt to their mental, social or cultural world as far as possible out of love and understanding. Submission is one of the effective strategy choices. After disputing several turns long, one participant accepts the other’s position or obeys the other’s order, CT is thus resolved.
Case study
The following analyzes three typical cases from the data to study the linguistic patterns and characteristics of CTs from the perspective of rapport management.
Case 1
Turn 1:董文æ´ï¼šä½ 说这是什么？(煽动性æé—®) 我æ£è¦é—®ä½ å‘¢!(Turn 1: Dong Wenjie: What do you think it is? I was going to ask you! (provoking question))
Turn 2:æ–¹æœµï¼šä½ ä»¬æ€Žä¹ˆä¹±ç¿»æˆ‘ä¸œè¥¿å•Š!è¿™æ˜¯æˆ‘ä¸ªäººä¸œè¥¿å•Šï¼Œä½ çŸ¥ä¸çŸ¥é“ï¼(Turn 2: Fang Duo: How can you go through my things? These are my private things, you know?)
Turn 3:董文æ´ï¼šæ–¹æœµ,ä½ å¹²ä»€ä¹ˆä½ ï¼Ÿä½ æ€¥ä»€ä¹ˆä½ ï¼Ÿä»€ä¹ˆå«æˆ‘ä»¬ä¹±ç¿»ä½ ä¸œè¥¿å•Šï¼Ÿå•Šï¼Ÿä½ è‡ªå·±æ‰”åˆ°åžƒåœ¾æ¡¶é‡Œï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆç»™ä½ æ¡èµ·æ¥çš„，我ä¸æ˜¯ä¹±ç¿»ä½ éšç§å•Šï¼(Turn 3: Dong Wenjie: What are you doing, Fang Duo? Why are you so nervous? What do you mean we rummage through your stuff? Ah? You throw it into the trash can, and I picked it up for you. I didn’t rummage your privacy!)
Turn 4:方朵：那是什么啊？(åé—®)(Turn 4: Fang Duo: What’s that? (posing question))
Turn 5:董文æ´ï¼šä»€ä¹ˆè¿™ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€ï¼Œä½ æ‰”åˆ°åžƒåœ¾æ¡¶é‡Œçš„ã€‚æ–¹æœµä½ åˆ«è·Ÿæˆ‘æ¨ªå•Šï¼Œä½ ä¸Šæ¬¡å‚åŠ æŒè¿·è§é¢ä¼šï¼Œæˆ‘没这么é‡è¯´ä½ å§ã€‚ä½ çŽ°åœ¨å€’å¥½ï¼Œä½ æžè¿™äº›ä¸œè¥¿ï¼Œä½ æŠŠä½ çš„æ—¶é—´ï¼Œå…¨æµªè´¹åœ¨è¿™ä¸ªä¸Šé¢äº†ã€‚è¿™ä»€ä¹ˆç ´ä¸œè¥¿å•Šï¼Œä¹±ä¸ƒå…«ç³Ÿå†™çš„ï¼(Turn 5: Dong Wenjie: What? You put it in the trash. Fang Duo, don’t be mad. I didn’t say anything you attended a fan meeting last time.
Now, you’re doing all this stuff. You’re wasting all your time on it. What a piece of shit!)
Turn 6:æ–¹æœµï¼šç ´ä¸œè¥¿ï¼Œæµªè´¹æ—¶é—´ï¼Ÿä½ ä»¬çœ¼é‡Œé™¤äº†æˆç»©è¿˜æœ‰ä»€ä¹ˆå•Šï¼Ÿ(åé—®) 出去!出去ï¼(Turn 6: Fang Duo:
What a waste of time? What else do you care besides grades (posing question)? Out! Get out!)
Turn 7: çˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼šå¥½å¥½å¥½ï¼Œæœµæœµï¼Œæœµæœµã€‚ä½ å…ˆå‡ºåŽ»ï¼Œä½ å…ˆç«™å¤–é¢ï¼ˆå¯¹æµ·æ¸…说的)ã€‚çˆ¸çˆ¸è·Ÿä½ è¯´ï¼Œæœµæœµï¼Œæœµæœµï¼Œ
朵朵。（被关出门外）(Turn 7: Dad: Ok, Ok. You go out first. You stand outside first. Have a talk with Daddy, DuoDuo? (Shut out the door))
Turn 8:董文æ´ï¼šæ–¹æœµ,ä½ ç»™æˆ‘å¼€é—¨ï¼Œä½ å¤ªè¿‡åˆ†äº†ï¼Œä½ ç»™æˆ‘æŠŠé—¨å¼€å¼€æ¥ã€‚æ–¹æœµï¼Œæˆ‘æ•°ä¸‰ä¸‹ï¼Œä½ ç»™æˆ‘æŠŠé—¨å¼€å¼€æ¥ã€‚æ–¹æœµï¼Œä½ è¦æ˜¯ä¸æŠŠé—¨æ‰“开的è¯ï¼Œæˆ‘å‘Šè¯‰ä½ ï¼Œæˆ‘å°±åŽ»æ‰¾å°å®‡ä»–爸，我看å°å®‡ä»–爸ä¸ææ»ä»–。(Turn 8: Dong Wenjie: Fang Duo, open the door! You’re out of line. Open the door for me. Fang Duo, you open the door for me on the count of three. Fang duo, if you don’t open the door, I will tell Xiaoyu’s father what has happened. I guess he must beat him to death.)
Turn 9:方朵:ä½ è¦æ˜¯è¿™ä¹ˆåšçš„è¯ï¼Œåˆ«è®¤æˆ‘这个女儿。
(屈æœ)(Turn 9: Fang Duo: If you do that, I’m not your daughter any more.) (A Love For Separation, 2015, E06)
In the background of this example, Fang Duo entered into her bedroom, finding her parents, Dong Wenjie and Fang Yuan were rummaging around in the drawer.
In Turn 1, Dong Wenjie raised a provoking question to show her anger when she saw Fang Duo’s fiction written by herself. Fang Duo did not answer her but payed more attention to her private right. In Turn 3, Dong Wenjie gave three opposing questions to scold Fang Duo’s bad attitude and claimed that she did not rummage her private things. But Fang Duo did not believe, thinking that her parents have seen her fiction. In Turn 5, Dong Wenjie said that Fang Duo spent more time in unimportant things but not study and that what she wrote is worth nothing. She denied Fang Duo’s ability in writing novels and threatened her quality face. In Turn 6, Fang Duo opposed that study is the only thing her parents focused on and asked them to get out of her bedroom. In these several turns, Fang Duo and Dong Wenjie both used language to challenge or even destroy the harmonious relationship. In Turn 7, Fang Yuan wanted to coordinate between his wife and daughter, but he was also closed out of the bedroom.
In Turn 8, Dong Wenjie ordered Fang Duo to open the door. Otherwise, she would let Zhang Liangzhong know what Zhang Xiaoyu did. In this way, she threatened Fang Duo’s equality right. In Turn 9, Fang Duo retorted that "if you did that, I would not be your daughter".
According to Zhao Yingling, a CT consists of the initiation stage, maintenance and escalation stage and the termination stage. This CT is triggered by Dong Wenjie’s provoking question “ä½ è¯´è¿™æ˜¯ä»€ä¹ˆ? (What do you think it is?)”, maintained by Fang Duo’s opposing question and terminated by Dong Wenjie’s submission, which is a failed talk because Dong Wenjie’s identity, a mother was threatened and the end format is unfavorable to establish a harmonious family atmosphere.
The cause of the above CT is greatly related to the unequal relationship between Chinese parents and children. In China, parents pay little attention to children’s privacy, and they manage to know everything about their children so they can make sure that their kids are on the right way. However, their kids would be disgusted with what they did. Thus, CTs can be initiated between teenagers and parents. In addition, Chinese parents pay a lot of attention to children’s study performance and usually deny their children wholly only because of their bad performance in study. And parents would limit their freedom for this reason. They hope their kids could be absorbed in study so that they would make progress and get a satisfactory result. This study suggests Chinese parents emphasize more on their children’s personality development rather than good grades, given theirchildren are able to adapt to various environments, to live independently, to deal with the relationship between friends. So, based on such an idea, children’s personality development has become a more important issue for Chinese parents.
Case 2
Turn 1:è’‚å¨œï¼šä½ å…ˆè®¢æ£ï¼Œæˆ‘å†ç¾å—. (Turn 1: Tina: You revise it first and I’ll sign it then.)
Turn 2:å¼ å°å®‡ï¼šæˆ‘è¿™ä¸ç€æ€¥æ‰“架å鼓没功夫å—? (Turn 2: Zhang Xiaoyu: I have no time since I’m in a hurry to play drum?)
Turn 3:蒂娜：ä¸è¡Œï¼Œæˆ‘å‰å‡ æ¬¡ç»™ä½ ç¾å—éƒ½è¢«ä½ çˆ¸æ•™è®äº†ï¼Œæˆ‘å†ç»™ä½ ç¾ï¼Œæˆ‘得顶多大é¸æ¢¨å•Šã€‚(Turn3: Tina: no, I can’t. Your father blamed me for my signing several times before. I’ll be under great pressure to sign it for you again.)
Turn 4:å¼ å°å®‡ï¼šä½ 告诉他干å—呀，我è¦æƒ³è®©ä»–知
é“ï¼Œæˆ‘è¿˜æ‰¾ä½ ç¾å¹²ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€ï¼Ÿï¼ˆç…½åŠ¨æ€§å‘é—®) (Turn 4: Zhang Xiaoyu: Why do you tell him? If I gonna let him know, why did I ask you to sign? (provoking question))
Turn 5:蒂娜：他是ä¸å°å¿ƒçœ‹åˆ°çš„，我ä¸æ˜¯æ•…æ„的。 (Turn 5: Tina: He saw it by accident. I didn’t mean to.)
Turn 6:å¼ å°å®‡ï¼šä½ 就是故æ„的，(å¦å®š) åˆ˜è’‚å¨œï¼Œä½ è¿™äººæ€Žä¹ˆè¿™æ ·ï¼Œä½ è¯šå¿ƒç»™æˆ‘æžé»‘çŠ¶ï¼Œä½ è¿˜çœŸæŠŠä½ å½“æˆ‘å¦ˆæ˜¯å§ï¼Œå’±ä¿©ä¸€å¹³ç‰å…³ç³»ï¼Œä½ å¸®æˆ‘ï¼Œæˆ‘å¸®ä½ ï¼Œå’±ä¿©å’Œè°å‹çˆ±ï¼Œä½ 怎么就摆ä¸æ£ä½ 自己的ä½ç½®å‘¢ï¼Œä½ ç»™å¥è¯ä½ 到底ç¾ä¸ç¾ï¼Ÿ(Turn 6: Zhang Xiaoyu: You are definitely deliberate, (negation) Tina Liu, how can you do that? You backstabbed me. Do you really treat yourself as my mother? We are equal and should be supportive so we can be harmonious. Why can’t you just put yourself in the right place? Sign it or not?)
Turn 7:蒂娜：我ä¸ç¾ï¼Œå¼ å°å®‡ï¼Œæˆ‘就算ä¸æ˜¯ä½ å¦ˆï¼Œä¹Ÿæ˜¯ä½ é•¿è¾ˆï¼Œä½ æ€Žä¹ˆè¯´è¯å‘¢? (Turn 7: Tina: I won’t sign it, Zhang Xiaoyu. Though I’m not your mother, I’m the elder. How can you talk like that?)
Turn 8:å¼ å°å®‡ï¼šé•¿è¾ˆï¼Œä½ å¯åˆ«æ‰¯äº†, (å¦å®š) 我åäº”äº†ï¼Œä½ æœ‰äºŒå五å—ï¼Œä½ æ‰æ¯”æˆ‘å¤§å‡ å²ï¼Œåœ¨è¿™å„¿å……é•¿è¾ˆï¼Œä½ è·Ÿæˆ‘çˆ¸ç«™ä¸€å—儿，知é“的是è€å¤«å°‘妻，ä¸çŸ¥é“的还以为，姑娘伺候爹呢，咱俩最åŽè½ä¸€å¹³è¾ˆã€‚(Turn 8: Zhang Xiaoyu: Elder? Please! (Negation) I am 15. Are you 25? You are just older a few years than me. When you stand together with my dad, people who know would think that you’re chronophilia, but those who don’t would think that you’re the daughter of my father. We are peers.)
Turn 9:è’‚å¨œï¼šå¼ å°å®‡ï¼Œç»™æˆ‘ç«™ä½ï¼(Turn 9: Tina: Zhang Xiaoyu, stop!)
Turn 10:å¼ å°å®‡ï¼šæ€Žä¹ˆç€ï¼Œä½ è¿˜æƒ³æ‰“æˆ‘ï¼Œæˆ‘å‘Šè¯‰ä½ ï¼Œåˆ˜è’‚å¨œï¼Œæˆ‘å°±ä¸è®¢æ£ï¼Œæˆ‘å°±æ‹¼å‘½åœ°æ‰“é¼“ï¼Œä½ æœ€å¥½åˆ«åœ¨è€å¼ 那里给我闹什么幺蛾å，ä¸ä¿¡æŠ¬å¤´çœ‹ï¼Œè‹å¤©é¥¶è¿‡è°ã€‚（走掉）（退出）(Turn 10: Zhang Xiaoyu: What? Do you want to beat me? I tell you, Tina Liu. I won’t revise it and I will desperately play drum. You’d better not backstab me. Evil will be recompensed with evil. (leave away) (withdrawal)) (A Love For Separation, 2015, E09)
In the above example, Zhang Xiaoyu hoped that his step-mother, Liu Dina could sign her name on his paper so that he would not be scolded by his father. But his father,
Zhang Liangzhong already knew the fact by accident.
This CT is triggered by Zhang Xiaoyu’s provoking question “ä½ å‘Šè¯‰ä»–å¹²å—å‘€, 我è¦æƒ³è®©ä»–知é“,
æˆ‘è¿˜æ‰¾ä½ ç¾å¹²ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€? (Why do you tell him? If I gonna let him know, why did I ask you to sign? )” He asked Liu Tina why she told his father.
In Turn 5, Liu Dina explained that it was not her fault because Zhang Liangzhong saw the picture of the paper accidentally. However, Zhang Xiaoyu negated that Liu Dina imparted the secret to his father deliberately. Negation is often used by speakers to express disagreement as well as refusal, which makes it threaten the hearer’s both face management and sociality rights management. It can be achieved by simple negatives, such as no, not to be, not right, do not and so on. Negation will usually make CT move on. In the second underlined turn, Liu Dina thought that she should be treated respectfully because of her identity as a step-mother. But Zhang Xiaoyu negated her identity, mocking her young age. Generally speaking, all the negatives escalate the CT thus their relationship ended on a sour note.
This CT terminated by Zhang Xiaoyu’s withdrawal “ä¸ä¿¡æŠ¬å¤´çœ‹, è‹å¤©é¥¶è¿‡è°(Evil will be recompensed with evil)”, which is a relatively unhappy talk because Zhang Xiaoyu refused to do what Dina said and walked away.
The causes for the conflict between parents and teenagers can be partly explained by the influence of culture. In Chinese culture, the relation between a child and a step-mother is really difficult to deal with especially when the step-mother is younger than his mum. For the kid, he/she has to accept a stranger as his/her mother. Maybe he would be hostile to the step-mother because he is afraid that the step-mother would treat him badly. For the step-mother, maybe she would not treat the step-son and her own child equally for benefits or blood relation. Thus CTs between them are relatively severe. And parents would always stress that their position is higher than their kids and they have more power than their kids, so kids should be obedient to them. When the kids have their own thoughts, parents would use their identity to control kids. Thus CTs would be caused because children’s equality right and sociality right are threatened.
Case 3
Turn1:刘星:ä½ æ€Žä¹ˆèƒ½ä¸ºäº†çŽ©å„¿ä¸å¦ä¹ å‘¢?ä½ è¦æ˜¯æœ‰é—®é¢˜å‘¢ï¼Œè€å¸ˆåŒå¦éƒ½ä¸åœ¨èº«è¾¹ï¼Œä½ è¦æ˜¯æœ‰é—®é¢˜ä½ é—®è°åŽ»å•Š? (Turn 1: Liu Xing: how can you choose entertainment instead of study? If you have any questions, whom could you turn to when teachers and classmates are not here?)
Turn2:刘梅:ä½ è¿˜æ•¢è¯´äººå®¶å‘¢ä½ ï¼Œä½ èƒ½è¯´äººå®¶å—？ä½
æœ‰èµ„æ ¼å—ä½ ? (煽动性å‘é—®) (Turn 2: Liu Mei: Do you
have a say here? (provoking question))
Turn3:å¤é›ª:妈，我是ä¸æ˜¯é”™äº†ã€‚(Turn 3: Xia Xue:
Mom, I’m wrong?)
Turn4:刘梅:也ä¸èƒ½ç®—æœ‰ä»€ä¹ˆé”™ï¼Œä½ è¯´çš„ä¹Ÿæœ‰é“ç†ï¼Œå°±æ˜¯çœ‹ä¹¦éƒ½èƒ½çœ‹æ‡‚ï¼Œä½•å¿…è€½è¯¯ä½ çŽ©å„¿çš„æ—¶é—´å‘¢ï¼Ÿä½ å›žå±‹å§ï¼Œå›žå±‹ä¼‘æ¯åŽ»å§ã€‚èµ°èµ°èµ°ï¼Œå¿«èµ°ï¼Œä¸Šè¡¥ä¹ è¯¾åŽ»ã€‚(Turn 4: Liu Mei: No, you’re right. Since you have already had a good command of your study, why not have fun? Go to your bedroom and have a relax. Go, go, go, have your after-school classes).
Turn5:刘星:å¹²å—呀，å‡ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€ã€‚å‡ä»€ä¹ˆå¥¹èƒ½æ—·è¯¾æˆ‘ä¸èƒ½æ—·å•Šï¼Ÿ(åé—®) (Turn 5: Liu Xing: Wait! Why? Why can she skip the class and I can’t? (posing question))
Turn6:刘梅:ä½ è·Ÿå¥¹èƒ½æ¯”å—？(Turn 6: Liu Mei: Do you think you are the same with her?)
Turn7:刘星:我怎么ä¸èƒ½å’Œå¥¹æ¯”啊？åŒæ ·çš„家åºï¼ŒåŒæ ·çš„父æ¯ï¼ŒåŒä¸€ä»¶äº‹å¥¹å¯¹çš„我就是错的呀。我看书还能å¦ä¼šå‘¢ã€‚我还ä¸æƒ³æµªè´¹çŽ©å„¿çš„时间呢，å‡ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€ã€‚(辩解) (Turn 7: Liu Xing: why can’t I compete with her? The same family, the same parents, and the same thing, why is she right but am I wrong? I could still study. I even didn’t want to waste my time on playing. Why? (defense))
Turn8:刘梅:ä½ ï¼Œä½ è¿˜ã€‚ã€‚ã€‚(Turn 8: Liu Mei: you, you ...)
Turn9:å¤é›ª:妈，真的是我让刘星这么åšçš„。 (Turn 9: Xia Xue: Mom, it’s really I that let Liu Xing do this.)
Turn10:刘梅:ä½ çœ‹çœ‹ï¼Œä½ å§å§æ€Žä¹ˆè¢’æŠ¤ä½ ï¼Œæ›¿ä½ æ‰¿æ‹…è´£ä»»ï¼Œä½ å‘¢ï¼Ÿ(Turn10: Liu Mei: look, your sister protects you and takes responsibility for you. What about you?)
Turn11:刘星:我怎么了。(Turn 11: Liu Xing: What about me?)
Turn12:刘梅:ä½ åˆšæ‰è¯´ä»€ä¹ˆæ¥ç€ã€‚(Turn 12: Liu Mei: what did you say?)
Turn13:刘星:说什么了。(Turn 13: Liu Xing: What did I say?)
Turn14:å¤é›ª:妈，真的是我让他这么åšçš„。 (Turn 14: Xia Xue: Mom, I really made him do this.)
Turn15:刘梅:ä½ åˆ«æ›¿ä»–è¯´è¯ï¼Œä½ 回屋æ‡ç€åŽ»ã€‚(Turn 15: Liu Mei: You don’t have to explain for him. Go back to your bedroom and have a rest.)
Turn16:刘星:我今儿就ä¸åŽ»äº†ï¼Œæˆ‘çœ‹ä½ èƒ½æŠŠæˆ‘æ€Žä¹ˆ
æ ·ã€‚(屈æœ) (Turn 16: Liu Xing: I won’t go anywhere today. What can you do? (submission).) (Home With Kids, 2004, S02E73).
In the above example, Liu Xing’s sister, Xia Xue didnot plan to go to the after-school class. Liu Xing tried to persuade Xia Xue because she can turn to her teachers and classmates for help there. However, Liu Xing’s mother, Liu Mei thought that it is fine if Xia Xue does not go to the class and that Liu Xing must go.
In Turn 2, Liu Mei raised several provoking questions “ä½ è¿˜æ•¢è¯´äººå®¶å‘¢ä½ ï¼Œä½ èƒ½è¯´äººå®¶å—ï¼Ÿä½ æœ‰èµ„æ ¼å—ä½ ? (Do you have a say here?)”to tell Liu Xing that he cannot teach his sister how to do for his own bad performance in study. In this way, Liu Xing’s quality face was threatened because his mother was doubtful about his ability in study. In Turn 3, Xia Xue asked Liu Mei if she was wrong. In Turn 4, Liu Mei comforted Xia Xue, making her come back to her bedroom for a rest but required Liu Xing goes to the class. In Turn 5, Liu Xing proposed his dissatisfaction “å¹²å—呀，å‡ä»€ä¹ˆå‘€ã€‚å‡ä»€ä¹ˆå¥¹èƒ½æ—·è¯¾æˆ‘ä¸èƒ½æ—·å•Šï¼Ÿ(Wait! Why? Why can she skip the class and I can’t?)”with posing questions. In Turn 6, Liu Mei gave the reason that Liu Xing cannot compete with Xia Xue. Then Liu Xing’s equality right was threatened because Liu Mei treated them unfairly. In Turn 7, Liu Xing defended for himself that he was not worse than his sister since they have the same family background. In Turn 8 to Turn 15, Xia Xue explained that it was her fault because she asked Liu Xing to do that. In Turn 16, Liu Xing claimed that he would not go to the after-school class.
This CT is triggered by Liu Mei’s provoking question, maintained by Liu Xing’s opposing question and terminated by Liu Mei’s submission, which is a failed talk because Liu Mei had no way to ask Liu Xing go to the class and the end format is unfavorable to establish a harmonious family atmosphere.
On the basis of the primary data collected from two Chinese TV serials, this paper analyses the linguistic patterns of CTs between parents and teenagers combined with employing rapport management theory to provide a qualitative analyses. Some findings with regard to initiation, maintenance and termination stages of CTs between parents and teenagers are thus presented.
Firstly, by collecting the CTs data from two Chinese TV series A Love for Separation and Home with Kids and analyzing the examples, the study finds out that claim-counter claim and provoking question-opposing answer are two main speech acts that easily initiate parent-teenager CTs. The three main speech acts that can escalate or maintain parent-teenager CTs are negation, posing questions and defense. Submission, withdrawal, compromise and concession are the three main methods to terminate a parent-teenager CT.
Secondly, parent-teenager CTs can be caused by the following two reasons. One is that the parents threaten their children’s face, quality face or identity face. The other one is that parents limit their children’s sociality right, asking them to pay more attention to their study. When parents and teenagers do not desire to enhance or maintain the relationship, CTs would happen. Once the CT is initiated, if one side attempts to neglect or destroy the relationship, then the CT would be escalated. What is more, when the Utterer's voice has a provoking intonation, CTs are more likely to be initiated. The rhetorical question is a question without doubt, which is used by the hearer to express the negation of what the speaker said with the meaning of criticism and dissatisfaction.
In this special period, teenagers feel that they have grown up and can get rid of the control of their parents. They have their own ideas and think that everything they say and whatever they do are all right. Therefore, once parents object their offer, they would feel their face or rights are challenged. In fact, at this stage, the leadership pattern that parents and children get along with each other previously should be transferred to the pattern that friends get on with. Instead of trying to control their children with the old mindset of "you must listen to me", "I’m doing it for your own good" and "you’re too young to understand many things", parents should be like friends, listening to their thoughts, understanding their wishes, and giving advice based on their own experience. If parents don’t change themselves, blindly denying the child, they will find that the communication with the child will be less and arguments will be more, thus forming a vicious circle.
Of course, parent-teenager CTs cannot be completely avoided. What we need to do is to reduce the harm caused by CTs. When the CTs occur, both sides have to try to think twice before speaking. Once you say something that hurts the other party’s face or rights, you should explain yourself in time and apologize to the other party to avoid the intensification of the CTs. Once a CT has formed, both sides should try to resolve it. As the saying goes, never could father and son be enemies. Parents and teenagers can not resort to cold violence, ignoring each other. They should take the initiative to give each other a step down. Sometimes a call can let the child feel warm and let parents feel pleased.
